"Talking out an emotion doesn't reduce it, it rehearses it,''
wrote Dr. Tavris, a social psychologist.
We've all been there where something "bad" happens in our day, and what do we do? Grab our phone to text or call our BFF saying, "Girl I have to tell you about...". Next thing you know someone has the wine ready, and here you are for a hour or longer ranting on about said event.
When it comes to venting though are we perhaps doing more harm than good? Is venting adding more value into our life, or possibly drawing more negativity? On the outside, venting sounds like a great solution to a bad day right? We're conditioned to not bottle up our emotions / thoughts because expressing feelings is supposed to make us feel better.
Let's think about that a little deeper though. When that thing that we want to vent about happens, typically it leaves us in a state of upset. We feel angry, sad, essentially just unhappy. Then we go meet up with our bestie, or perhaps our significant other becomes our go to where we retell the whole scenario once again as if it just happened. While you might think you're starting to feel better here are somethings that are actually happening.
Your mood can become worse.
Those negative thoughts are staying in your mind longer.
It becomes harder to forget something you can't shut up about.
Bad energy attracts bad energy.
Negativity breeds negativity.
You might upset someone else.
So if venting can actually cause more negative emotion when we were trying to use it as a solution, what can be done? Here are some suggestions to help ease your mood, while also learning to let it go.
Do a blank email and write it all out (DON'T HIT SEND).
Count to 10, slowly and focus on your breathing.
Go for a walk.
Walk away from the phone / computer.
Listen to your favorite song or a podcast.
Look at pictures of puppies (You can't tell me you're still upset after this one).
Remind yourself of something you're grateful for.
Point is bad things are going to happen, or people are going to piss us off. However, by deciding to vent / rant about it to everyone you come in contact with you are potentially doing more self sabotage. Not to mention, you could possibly be making more foes than friends for being "that person who always complains". If you are someone who tends to vent a lot (trust me I used to!) I challenge you to try one of these tools and see how you feel after.
Go create the best you <3