• Taryn Shaffer

Secrets to being selfish:

#selfish vs. #selfworth


Handstands coming along

About a year ago, I up and moved cities. Selfishly I chose to take a job transfer to an area that I had only spent a few weeks in for training purposes. At that time, I literally took everything in my life and flipped it upside down. I took the transfer because I craved more. A relationship I was in was halted simply because, I wanted to experience more. 

That one event, is what lead me to living a life selfishly more than I ever knew I was capable of. I knew the second I chose to move my #life was going to change. However, it was the new city, feeling of adventure, people I had encountered, and idea of not living in comfort that I couldn't say no to. 

Let me also say that I have known I have wanted to live somewhere else since I graduated college. In fact, I have had 4 other opportunities to move I just never acted on them. The reason was me. There was always this voice inside that said: "How can you move cities and leave behind your friends?" "You're going to WHAT? What will people say".

^^ If you look carefully, none of those statements are true reflections of me. They are thoughts of the impact it could have on others. 


Live your life

If I had it my way though, that voice to move would have been listened to a long time ago. For the person I found, the person I have become, would not have emerged without being selfish by that move. It was in moving, that I realized how much I was missing out on. Moving showed me just how unhappy I had become with myself. At the same time, moving also showed me a passion / fire I didn't know existed. 

Flash forward to now, and while I don't live in that city here's what happened from being selfish. 

  • I created a confidence in myself I never had.

  • I stopped seeking validation from others / the innate desire to please others. 

  • Found a new hobby in doing yoga. 

  • Embraced being outdoors more. 

  • Started using the "Heck yes, or it's a no" mantra. 

  • Rid myself of relationships with people who did not reciprocate the same energy.

  • Quit a job that was not even close to my true purpose. 

  • Turned down a promotion that didn't align with me even. 

While being selfish does not come across as a #compliment, it does put my self worth first. When you put yourself and your self worth first, you actually allow yourself to be a happier person. To some you're going to come across as self involved, arrogant, self centered (insert any other negative adjective here). In all reality you're being self focused, creating the best you, and setting yourself up for more success. To some you're going to come across as rude. 

Here's the kicker, IT'S OKAY. I guarantee you that all those times I chose to do what others wanted, making choices or lack there of because of them.. led me to nothing fully enjoyable. At the end of the day I still sought more, even though I felt selfish for saying that. The only thing that led to was more stress, a lack of confidence, and an emotional roller coaster. 

The beauty of being selfish, is that at the end of the day your pure intention is to create a better YOU. By putting YOU first, you're allowing yourself to live a life full of meaning. 

With that, I will choose being selfish or rather sticking to my gut feelings because it had allowed me to be the happiest I have been as of lately. 

Go be happy,

-Taryn.


Transformwithtaryn.com


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